Well, we are doing it! Cassi and I are working the Mindful Motherhood workshop in every way possible. In August we were at The Esalen Institute for a 5-day retreat – WHAT a treat! In September we did a 3-day at the Institute of Noetic Sciences retreat center…just lovely, and yesterday 14 women – some pregnant, some with babies and some with toddlers, or older children, convened in the beautiful city neighborhood of the San Francisco Zen Center for the sole (soul) purpose of learning more about mindfulness in motherhood. What a powerful group of women – and how insightful of each of them to take the time for themselves and spend a day away from their loved ones to focus on the practice of being mindful. A one-day seminar seems like a sliver of time when it comes to the spaciousness of this practice, and yet, as we sat…many were able to tap into meat of the subject, which is this: being in present time. Most folks tend to spend good amount of their lives living in front of themselves – in the future and behind themselves – in the past. When we open into the idea that we can be standing right here inside ourselves in the present – there is spaciousness that presents itself. After a few hours into the day, we went around the circle and some attempted to share the experience by using words, which is kind of tricky, how can one describe the indescribable? And yet, there it is…an openness – a spaciousness – a place where, once there, one sees there are no real edges to it. We had the good fortune of being able to sit in the Zen Center’s gorgeous conference room – this room, with clouds painted into the high ceilings may afford one the chance experience a place of sweet quietude. For a bunch of moms – well, that’s like the ultimate special treat! No one’s there crying, tugging on or asking something of her. Cassi calls Mindful Motherhood the “down and dirty mindfulness!!” Being mindful isn’t about “having it all together” and definitely not about being “calm” – what it IS about is: Can one be up with her crying baby for the fifth time that night and be present? Present and in connection with the baby – to the loud sound of the babies distress, present to the depth of exhaustion it takes to be up for the fifth time, present to the sensations the physical body is feeling?
If practiced – like learning a musical instrument – overtime the spaciousness of the moment seeps in, even into the most challenging of parental times. Being present when things are totally crazy means being with only what is happening in that moment – without adding a big story line to it, not to mention the judgement that creeps in along with the story line. It means to not add pain to the suffering!! Being present also means embracing the many moments of mothering that crack your heart so wide open that you think you may explode into a sparkling fountain of love. There were times when I had my son as a tiny one in my arms that the moment felt so heavy, rich , dense, it was just he and I breathing and being together knowing that all was well. Even as he matures, grows and changes into a boy, not even a little boy anymore, there are the those moments of pure
being-ness which I gratefully step into. And, at every moment, there is always the opportunity to bring the awareness into present time. That is the gift.